Now that I no longer feel like I have to hide who I am I can re-post this. Unfortunately, I am back at square one of my spiritual journey. Such is life right? But my spirit is back as my focus. Well, it has to be. Once that's good, everything else falls into place. :)
Spiritual Journey - The Next Step
I've recently begun this spiritual journey, but I don't know where to go next. Let me give you some background first. Back in the Spring of 2007 I watched "The Secret". I thought it was cool and interesting. Totally believed in it, but then the summer came and I never consciously thought about it again, but I felt and saw it working in my life.
Time moved forward and then around the Fall of 2008 I began to spend a lot more time around my linesister who reintroduces The Law of Attraction into my life through a lot of talk of positive and negative energy. She then puts me onto hayhouseradio.com and I saw my outlook on life beginning to change. I was excited and eager to learn more. Around the beginning of December I began reading "Reincarnation for the Christian" and then it happened - my world shifted. Suddenly I found answers that the Bible, pastors, and not even science could answer. My struggles vanished and I was liberated because at some point during my reading I realized that I believed in reincarnation. I always have but I could never find my way to it. Christian beliefs and society's norms blinded me from seeing my truth and my path. The God I know didn't create this glorious world for us to experience it once. The God I know will accept you, forgive you, and love you regardless if you are "saved" or not. The God I know, lives within us. We are apart of God, not just his creation. The God I know is all around and we do not need a third party to touch, see, smell and talk to Him.
I'm digressing. Moving on...once I had this revelation I needed to learn more. After spending a lot of time on Google, watching Oprah's Spiritual podcast, listening to hayhouseradio.com, praying, I was confronted with a question by another linesister that resulted in another shift. I told her I didn't believe in salvation, she asked if I believed in Jesus. I sat there confused because for the first time in my life I didn’t know the answer to that question. For 22 years of my life, Jesus has been all I've known. How could I not believe in him now? However, in my heart I knew that I didn't need him to get to God. I had God already. After talking to another soror/friend till 3am, it hit me. The answer was so clear, but I couldn't accept it. The moment I did, I knew I would be on my own. I would no longer have the comfort and safety of having a religion. But I couldn't deny it. The more I did, the more depressed I seemed to get. So I said, "God, make me so uncomfortable that I will do the very thing I fear" and the courage came - Yes, I do believe that Jesus existed. What his role was or is, I am still unsure, but what I do know is he is not my Savior. There is only God to me and I've found Him. I see Him everyday. I talk to Him everyday. I feel Him everyday.
So here I am. Semi-alone because the only other person I know who feels the way I do is my linesister. This is my journey and I welcome you to follow me if you so choose. Starting today, I will meditate EVERYDAY and commit to a set yoga schedule to assist me in my spiritual growth.
Om Namah Shivaya
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